Chapter 11 - How I Spent My Summer Vacation

The next week I was busy writing final exams. I’d been in Rimouski almost a month. I’d quickly learned enough French to get by, but barely. So my Tante and my Mom decided that I could keep taking correspondence classes instead of going to school the next semester. It wasn’t like I didn’t have friends after all, as Tante Amèlie readily told my Mom.

I refused to talk to her when she called though. I still hadn’t forgiven her for calling when she was drunk or for sending me out here in the first place. But I was glad that I wouldn’t be going to school full time. It meant that I could spend a few hours a day on homework instead of having to be in school all day. Dad still hadn’t bothered to get in touch with me… not even an email.

We were coming up on the sixth anniversary of Frankie’s death, and I was starting to wonder if Dad would remember that. I mean, if he couldn’t remember the kid he had that was alive (albeit on the other side of the country, through no fault of her own) how on earth would he manage to remember the kid who was dead?

I’d had to talk to Mark again, it wasn’t like I was totally in hiding or anything, and I knew full well that Sidney had totally broken things off with Bianca. But if he thought that news (and Bianca’s showing up drunk at my house at three am, standing on the lawn cussing me out in French) was going to make me come running back to him…. Well he had another thing coming. So imagine my surprise when, at six am on the 2nd of February, Sidney knocked on my bedroom door.

I was in nothing but a large Ocèanic t-shirt that Mark had given me, my hair was a mess, but I figured it was either Mark or Tante Amèlie at my door. “What?” I demanded before my eyes went wide with shock, and I slammed the door hard in his face.

Sidney laughed softly. “Nickie….” He said.

“Oh my fucking God.” I snapped talking to him through the door, running around my room like a chicken with my head cut off, looking for a brush. “You do not show up at 6 in the morning without giving a girl some notice.”

“You told me I had to wait until I got back from Baie-Comeau to talk to you.” He reminded me.

“You just got back didn’t you?” I said, opening the door, now wearing a tank top and a cute pair of shorts, my hair having been brushed into some kind of order.

“Yes.” He said softly, pushing me into my bedroom, closing the door softly behind us. “Mark and Catrine do not need to hear this conversation.”

“Catrine is here?” I asked with a laugh.

“Of course she is.” He said. “She met us at the rink and drove Mark home.”

“Oh.” I said slowly.

He pulled me into him and kissed my forehead. “I missed you Nickie.”

“You barely know me.” I snapped, pulling away from him.

He sighed. “I want to know you.” He replied, reaching for me again. “If you’ll let me.”

“Why do you want to know me Sidney?” I asked, stepping back and falling against the bed.

He sighed in irritation. “Why do I want to know you?” He snapped. “Damnit Nickie, I should be asking you that question.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I asked.

“I know full well you set out to get me.” He said, his eyes flashing angrily. “Its not like guys on the team don’t talk to me. I know that on New Year’s Eve you were talking a big game, and I know that you told Danny that you were going to make me fall for you.” He paused and his eyes blazed angrily at me. “But here we are, and you’re the one demanding to know why I want you.”

I starred at him, taken aback. “If you want to know why I want you then why the hell haven’t you asked?” I finally demanded.

“Because I am trusting you Nickie.” He said. “I am trusting that you want me for the right reasons. Why can’t you trust me?”

I raised my eyebrows. “One word… Bianca.”

“And I ended that the minute you asked me to.” Sidney replied.

“But that’s just it.” I said, running a hand through my hair. “I shouldn’t have to had to ask you Sidney. You should know better.”

“Know better?” He asked with a laugh. “Your good friend Mark sleeps around on Catrine all the time. Danny, who is pretty much dating your good friend Michelle, was pretty busy on this last road trip. Me on the other hand? I went back to the hotel and tried to get a good night’s sleep every single night. But I couldn’t.” He snapped, flopping down on the bed next to me. “And you want to know why I couldn’t?” He asked, turning his deep chocolate brown eyes on me.

“No.” I whispered so softly I don’t think he heard me.

“Because of beautiful girl back at home in Rimouski who expects more of me.” He said, his eyes softening. “And she’s making me expect more of myself.”

I smiled and leaned down and kissed him gently. We kept kissing. My hands running softly over the front of his t-shirt, catching it at the bottom and pulling it over his head. He kissed his way down my throat. My heart was beating so quickly I thought I might faint. This boy had the most incredible effect on me. Without going into lurid detail Ms. Kulak, because I don’t want to make you blush and all, this is how I lost my virginity, a month after I’d been planning on it, to a boy I barely knew, in the early hours of the morning.

Afterwards, we lay together cuddled in my bed, his lips resting lightly on my forehead. “I’m sorry I hurt you.” He whispered. “I didn’t think….”

“You didn’t think I was a virgin.” I muttered into his chest a little angrily.

He sighed, and let me go slightly, so I could look him in the eye. “You’re right, I didn’t think that you were a virgin.” He said, reaching down with one hand and lightly stroking my inner thighs, which were now stained with drying blood. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you brat.”

I looked up at him. “Is that, like, going to be your nickname for me phenom?” I asked. “Because I’m not sure that I like it.”

He shrugged. “It fits you far better then doucette.” He said.

I sighed. “Well now you know that when I tell you something, it’s the truth. If you ask a question, the answer will be the true one. If I refuse to answer that’s the only time I won’t tell you something.”

“Will you tell me about Frankie?” He asked softly.

“No.” I said firmly, determined not to ruin this moment by crying over my little brother. “Sidney this is supposedly the most special gift I could give you… my virginity. And it was incredibly important to me… I dated a guy for nearly eight months and he never got any farther then a finger or two.” I informed him honestly. “I haven’t even known you for a month and I jump into bed with you.”

I paused, realizing just how bad that sounded, and then turned away from him. “Oh my fucking God. I am such a whore.”

Sidney pulled me into his arms and forced me to face him. “You are not a whore Nickie.” He said firmly, kissing me on the forehead. “You are my girlfriend….” He paused, seeing the mutinous expression on my face. “Or rather….” He added slowly. “You’re the girl who I want to be my girlfriend. If it makes you feel better, we can wait as long as you want to do it again.”

I buried my face in his chest. I wasn’t sure what to say. I was comfortable in his arms and I didn’t want to go anywhere. I didn’t want him to go anywhere. I just wanted to be. Thinking made me, well, think too much. His hand stroked my hair. He seemed to understand exactly what I was thinking, and he just, did what I needed. Whether it was giving me the time I needed, or understanding that there was more to me then met the eye.

We lay there together and we must have fallen asleep, because a few hours later, I could hear Mark up and moving around. I rolled over and cuddled into Sidney, glancing briefly at the clock, which read 12:30. I felt his lips graze my forehead. “Umm.” I said slowly, stretching my body against his. “We should probably get up.” I murmured.

He pulled me tightly against him. “I think being naked in bed with you is far more fun.” He said kissing me softly.

“Ick.” I said, getting up. “Morning breath.”

“Where are you going?” Sidney asked trying to look forlorn.

“To brush my teeth and take a shower.” I said, reaching for the t-shirt Sidney had been wearing and pulling it on.

“But what about me?” He whined.

I smiled and shook my head. “You’ll survive.”

He got out of bed and pulled on his boxers before wrapping his arms around me tightly and kissing my neck, sending shivers up and down my spine. “I’ll come with you.” He said.

“Um, maybe that’s not such a good idea.” I said. “Not if Catrine’s still here.”

“She won’t be.” Sidney said confidently. “She had school this morning.”

“Umm….” I said slowly, trying to think, but failing as his lips worked furiously against my neck.
“Stop that.” I mumbled. “I can’t think when you do that.”

“Good.” He whispered, his tongue licking the shell of my ear.

“You are horrible.” I replied, pulling away from him, opening the door and wandering out into the living room, where to my surprise, Mark and Catrine were sitting.

Sidney, not knowing that they were both sitting there, wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up, swinging me in his arms. He turned and noticed Catrine and Mark sitting there, and put me down. “Umm hi.” He said.

“Darryl.” Mark said with a sly grin. “You’re still here.”

I blushed furiously as Catrine’s eyes narrowed. “Bianca sera très faché quand je lui dit aprospros de cela.”

“Tu diras rien.” Mark snapped. “Don’t worry about it doucette. Catrine really isn’t going to say anything.”

“Oh lord.” I muttered, covering my face with my hands.

Sidney put his hands on my shoulders. “It’s okay Nickie.” He whispered. “It’s not a big deal.” I looked up and him and raised my eyebrows. It was a HUGE deal to me. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “You know what I mean brat.” He said gently, his eyes warm on mine.
I had to smile. I didn’t think I would ever like being called a brat. But there was something in Sidney’s eyes when he said it that turned it from and insult to the biggest compliment ever. I stuck my tongue out at him. “I need a shower.” I said, heading towards the bathroom.

“I should, ah, probably go.” Sidney said, looking as he felt as uncomfortable as I did with Mark and Catrine watching us dispassionately from the couch.

“Umm I’m wearing your shirt.” I whispered, stepping back into my bedroom.

Sidney followed me. “Well I need to get dressed anyway.” He said, closing the door behind us and then reaching for his pants. As soon as he had his pants on, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me softly. “Will you come over later?” He asked softly.

“Are you sure you want me too?” I asked.

“Of course.” Sid replied, that grin that I was coming to love so much on his face. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t really want you too.”

“Then I’ll be there.” I said kissing him softly.

Sid pulled his shirt on and reached into the pocket of his jeans. “Shit.” He muttered.

“What?” I asked.

“I came here with Catrine and Mark.” He said. “I don’t have my truck here.”

I laughed and tossed him the keys to my car. “Take my car.” I said. “Just give me a call and come and get me later.”

He kissed me softly. “I’ll go first.” He said sliding out of my bedroom.

I sighed and wrapped my arms around my chest. It felt like nothing had changed between us, but shouldn’t something have changed? I’d never had sex before and I wasn’t sure. I knew that I didn’t want to face Catrine, but I wasn’t about to hide in my own house. Or rather, what had become my house. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and stepped into the living room.

“Way to go doucette.” Mark said with a sly grin on his face.

I shook my head. “Mark you’re horrible.” I said.

He shrugged and grinned at me. “And if you were a virgin Darryl probably took care of that little problem this morning didn’t he?” He paused. “And don’t try to deny it doucette. Quiet you two were not.”