Chapter 42 - How I Spent My Summer Vacation

I spent the next three days hiding in the basement, bawling my eyes out. Mark was really good about it, as always. He held my hand and went to get me ice cream so that I didn’t have to go get it myself and watched chick flicks with me and cuddled with me at night when I couldn’t sleep.

I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better friend then Mark at that point. Sure the other guys stopped by, I mean, Eric, Danny and Alex all came to see how I was doing, and Eric came to let me know that Sidney was going back to Cole Harbour. But none of them were as good at just letting me go through things as Mark was. They always tried to cheer me or make me laugh or something.

I think Eric came to let me know that Sidney was going home because he wanted me to make the first move to make things better. The fact was though, that I couldn’t forgive him. Not when he said that I was just like my Mom and Dad. I wasn’t. I knew I wasn’t and so should he, if he loved as much as he said he did.

So, the day that I knew Sidney was leaving for Cole Harbour, I sat in the basement and I cried. Mark would be going home soon and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do without him. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to stay in Rimouski without him. To make matters worse, as I sat alone in the dark basement, crying my eyes out on the day that I knew Sidney was leaving for Cole Harbour my cell rang.

It had been a long time since my cell had rang with that particular ring. It was from my Dad’s office. I picked the phone up. “Hello?” I said, sniffling slightly.

“Nicole it’s your Father.” My Dad said unnecessarily.

“Thank God it’s not the latest secretary you’re fucking.” I replied with mock relief. “Only imagine my shock if it were! Tell me, were you able to keep Jena around after she learned that your wife’s imaginary daughter was real?”

“Nicole Ashley Emily! There is no need for such vulgar language.” My Father snapped.

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever Dad.” I said. “You didn’t answer my question though. Is Jena still around or did she drop your… I mean quit?”

“Jena is no longer with the company.” My Dad said stiffly.

I chuckled. “Serves you right.” I told him. “So is the new one a blonde too? How old is she? Jena was what, 26 now? So the new one is probably, what 21 or 22?”

“Nicole that is none of your business.” He snapped.

“I beg to differ Dad. I’d say that the woman with whom you’re currently cheating on my Mother is very much my business.” I told him. “Especially if she’s only 5 or 6 years older than I am. ‘Cause at least Mom sticks with 30 somethings.”

“Speaking of who people are currently sleeping with Nicole.” My Dad’s voice suddenly sounded severe. The way it had when I was a little girl and I didn’t let Frankie play with me. “What exactly is going on between you and that hockey player?”

I snorted. He was going to turn all parental on me now? What the fuck was up with that? “Which hockey player do you men Daddy?” I said, making my voice sound all sweet and innocent. “Mark, Danny, Eric or Sidney? Or maybe you mean Alex or Patrick or Cédrick?”

“There better not be more than one hockey player young lady.” My Dad snapped. “In fact, as far as I’m concerned at 16 one is one too many.”

“Your belated concern is duly noted Daddy.” I told him dryly.

“There is only one hockey player right Nicole?” My Dad said, his voice unsure.

I shrugged. “What if there isn’t?” I demanded.

“Then you can spend the rest of your high school years in a convent in Switzerland Nicole.” My Dad snapped.

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, like nuns could stop me from having sex if I wanted to Dad.” I pointed out.

“If there were no boys in a 50 mile radius you’d be fine.” My Father insisted.

I snorted. “Daddy there is going to be an NHL lockout next year. Most of the guys are going to go to Europe. Like I couldn’t get in touch with someone if I really needed to get laid.” I snapped. “So don’t even think about, because you do and I swear I will get my ass kicked out of that convent so fast you won’t be able to send me to any other school word about what I’d done would spread so damn fast.”

“You are just like your Mother Nicole.” My Dad muttered.

“You know that’s the second time in less than a week that someone’s said that to me Dad.” I said. “And from you, it’s not as much of an insult as it could be… you could tell me that I’m just
like you.”

“Nicole your attitude is really starting to get on my last nerve.” He said through clenched teeth.

“And you and Mom’s relationship killed my last nerve when you shipped me off to the other side of the country.” I said with a shrug. “So there, we’re even.”

“Nicole….” My Dad said warningly.

“Dad….” I replied.

“What on earth happened to my sweet little girl?” He demanded with a sigh and I just knew that he was sitting at his desk, shaking his head.

“She grew up without anyone around to help her do it.” I snapped, disgusted by his self-pity. He had no right to feel sorry for himself. He and Mom had brought this on themselves. “And it no longer matters to her what you think of her, because to her, you are merely a cash machine.”

“Nicole I cannot believe you are saying that!” He snapped. “I have half a mind to cut you off completely!”

“It’s called the truth Daddy.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes again. “You and Mom should try it sometime.”

“What exactly is that supposed to mean?” He responded.

“Oh I don’t know….” I said slowly. “Well maybe you could start with the number of women you’ve fucked since Frankie died and then she could tell you the number of men she’s fucked and you can just take it from there.”

My Dad sighed. Then I sighed. Then we both sat quietly for awhile because we clearly didn’t have anything else to say to each other. Finally my Dad cleared his throat. “Now Nicole, I didn’t call to argue with you.”

“Well that’s great, and I appreciate it Dad, but considering this is the first time I’ve talked to you since, well Sidney insisted we call you and that was, well not a conversation I’d like to remember. Seeing as how I am not a big fan of hearing that my Dad was telling his mistress that I didn’t exist and was a figment of my Mom’s imagination.”

“Nicole please.” He said firmly. “Let me finish.”

“Fine, whatever.” I snapped angrily.

“I am calling to let you know what’s going to happen over the next couple of months.” My Dad said. “Your Mother and I have gotten together and-“

I snorted. “You and Mom were actually in the same room together talking?” I said, my voice heavy with sarcasm. “Wow now that’s a first. Well at least, a first since Frankie died.”

“Nicole….” My Dad said warningly.

“Fine, whatever.” I snapped.

He sighed. “Nicole your Mother and I decided that you’re going to spend the rest of this school year in Rimouski.”

I rolled my eyes. “And here I didn’t even think you knew where I was.”

He ignored me. “You and your friends are welcome to come to Airdrie for a weekend if you’d like – the May long weekend would probably be best. Your Mom is planning on going to Montréal for the weekend, and I’m going to be in LA.”

“Then what?” I demanded.

“Then you will go to visit your grandparents the same way that you always do.” My Dad continued. “And you will stay at the Ranch until school begins at the end of August.”

I snorted. “And what if I don’t agree to this little plan?” I asked, feeling petulant to put it mildly. “What if I have my own plans? What if I want to stay here next year? With Sidney and Mark and Danny and Eric and the people who actually love me?”

“Are you trying to say that your Mother and I don’t love you?” He demanded indignant.

I shrugged. “Pretty much yeah Dad.” I said, then I paused. “Wait, no, that’s not true.”

My Dad sighed with what could only be called relief. “Well I am glad that you are mature enough to see that Nicole. I know that things haven’t been easy for any of us since Frankie died, and you’ve had to grow up a lot faster than either your Mom or I would have liked.”

I shrugged. “Life sucks Dad. I learned that young. Please, don’t try to go all fatherly on me now ‘kay? I mean, you might think that I’m mature and all that crap, but you and Mom aren’t.” I told him, brutally honest. “You guys don’t know how to love people. You love me with money because you can’t love me emotionally, you’re both too wrapped up in yourselves to love anyone.”

“Nicole how can you say that?” He demanded, sounding shocked.

“I can say that because it’s TRUE Dad.” I told him. “You guys are too wrapped up in yourselves to love anyone. Mom called ONCE since I’ve been here. She was drunk and angry with you. This is the first time you’ve called since I moved out here. Most of my friends parents would have called every day or every second day.”

“Nicole you can’t judge your Mother and I by your friends parents.” He said firmly. “Your Mother and I are very different.”

I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that. “You guys each called ONCE. In like, four months. Forgive me for thinking you didn’t care.” I added sarcastically.

“Look Nicole, its time you faced some facts.” My Dad said, his voice hard. “When your brother died, the whole family changed. Your spoiled brat antics aren’t going to bring it back.”

I shrugged. “Well at least when I act like a spoiled brat you and Mom pay attention to me. I just wanted some attention Dad. That’s it. A little bit of your time… my birthday… you couldn’t come for dinner with Mom and I because of a meeting – Dad we saw you at the restaurant with Jena. Mom booked us in there on purpose. So I’d see you.”

I took a deep breath and continued. “Dad you gave me a leather jacket. It’s very nice by the way, and I do enjoy it, but I would have rather had you there.” I sighed. “I wish you’d get it Dad. I don’t NEED nice things if it means not having you. I’d rather have you then nice things.”

“Nicole listen, I have to go.” My Dad answered, completely ignoring my heartfelt confession. “Now that you know what’s going to happen, I really hope that you’ll take some initiative and call your mother.”

With that, my father hung up the phone. I stared at my phone for a few minutes in shock. It clearly didn’t matter. I could be honest with my parents until the cows came home, but it didn’t matter. My Dad didn’t care. My Mom didn’t care. Sidney was right. My parents were selfish.

And when I actually took some initiative and tried to talk to them about how I felt? Well it was hard, and they did turn tail and run from anything that was hard… dealing with me and my emotions was definitely included in hard. So as I sat there, starring at the phone, tears slowly poured down my cheeks.

Mark found me in the basement, sobbing, and held me tight until I was calm enough to tell him what was going on. He listened and comforted me and then listened some more. I was calmed down enough to eat supper when Mark sighed and said. “Nickie I’m sorry, but I have more bad news for you honey.”

I looked up at him. “Could your timing be any worse Tobin?” I demanded, the tears immediately coming back to my eyes.

“I’m sorry Nickie, but you aren’t the only one who got a phone call from their parents today.” He told me. “Mom and Dad think I need to come home.”

I sighed. “And they’re probably right.” I said. “The season is over after all.”

“Unfortunately.” Mark grumbled, apparently still slightly bitter of the Nics loss to the Wildcats in 5.

I hugged him. “I know it sucks Mark. Next year you guys are going to be unstoppable, I know it.” I told him confidently. “So long as Cèdrick is in net.”

“You think Cèdrick can handle it?” Mark asked surprised.

I shrugged. “I think he moves better in the net then Guillaume does.” I said. “But who am I? Just the phenom’s ex.”

“You know Nickie, I still believe that you and Sidney can work this out.” Mark told me. “I believe that just as much you believe that we’re going to be unstoppable next year. You guys just need to sit down and talk things out. You love each other.”

I shrugged again. “Sometimes love isn’t enough Mark.”

“Sure it is.” Mark said. “Catrine and I never loved each other. I was a way out of Rimouski for her, and she a convenient lay for me. I mean, I liked her, sure, and I enjoyed spending time with her naked, but actually talking her? Not if I could help it.” He paused. “Things with you and Darryl though, they were different. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Darryl definitely enjoyed the sex, but he never bragged about it or anything.” Mark said when he saw the rebellious look on my face.

“He’d just have that grin on his face and we all knew he’d gotten laid. Plus, you guys weren’t really good at quiet.” Mark added with a grin. “OW!” He said when I punched him in the arm.

“How does him not bragging about it make it different?” I demanded. “Because everyone else on the team fucks and brags?”

“No because he actually liked spending time with you. He always missed you when we were on the road and Nickie, he was worried about you. He’s probably still worried about you.” Mark sighed. “Sometimes love is enough doucette.” He said, kissing me softly on the forehead. “You just have to be brave enough to believe in it.”