Friday, April 25, 2008

Chapter 40 - How I Spent My Summer Vacation

The next day the boys opened their series against Moncton at the Colisée. Unfortunately, and despite having watched all of that tape of the Wildcats, the series did not open up as planned. Moncton won the game 4-1 and outshot the Nics 33-29. Sidney scored the only goal of the game for Rimouski, on the power play in the second period from Marc-Antoine and Jean-Michel.

It was not a good game for Marc-Antoine or Eric for that matter. They each took a game misconduct. Sidney was not a happy camper at the end of the game, and so I just took him home. He didn’t seem to want to hang out, and he didn’t ask me to stay or anything like that, so I just dropped him off.

The guys were all upset, even my happy-go-lucky Marky. He basically got home, slammed his bedroom door shut and didn’t appear again until it was time to watch the tape and practice the next day. The guys had basically been on a roll since New Years… sure they’d lost games, but they’d still managed to win their division. Losing was not something that any of them enjoyed doing.

On Sunday, the series continued, and they boys managed to turn things around slightly. Zybnek opened the scoring in the first from Dany and Sid. Then Moncton answered with less then 3 minutes left in the first. Zybnek scored the game winner from the same combo with less then 3 minutes left in the second and that turned out to be the game winner.

The Nics outshot Moncton 49-28 in that one, and at the end of the day I think that was what was clearest to the guys. The Wildcats goalie was hot. They would need to get the puck on net a lot if they were going to win the series.

Michelle and B weren’t able to get out of school to come with me to Moncton, so I went with Troy. Things didn’t go well for the boys in Moncton. The Cats won game 3 6-1. The Nics only goal game from Jean-Michel in the third, when it was already 3-0. The Nics were outshot in game 3 44-43.

In Game 4 the boys just didn’t have an answer for the Wildcats goalie. They outshot Moncton 56-39 and still lost 3-1. Marc-Antoine had Rimouski’s loan marker in that one, tying the score at ones at the end of the first.

Game 4 was on Thursday and this gave the guys a 3-day layoff before the next game went in Rimouski on Monday. Sidney played okay, but he took four minutes in penalties, one of them coming when the Nics were on the power play in the first the second at the very end of the second. Fortunately neither of his penalties resulted in Moncton goals.

Unfortunately Moncton opened the scoring in the first on the power play before Marc-Antoine replied from Sidney and Patrick on the power play in the second. The crowd was excited and into the game, hoping that the boys would extend the series to a sixth game. However the Moncton players wanted this to be over.

With less then five minutes left in the game, the Cats put the final nail in the Nics season, despite the Nics outshooting them again. The boys were clearly depressed, and Nics fans weren’t exactly thrilled with the outcome of recent games either. I mean, they were down 3-1 in the series and they just hadn’t been able to put the puck past the Moncton keeper.

That weekend, I stayed away. The guys were in this like, hyper-focus mode and anything that wasn’t hockey related was just in the way. Well, except for Sunday night, because Sidney needed his pre-game sex. I know that it sounds cold, but it was what it was. He was always super passionate before game day and I definitely enjoyed it, even if was just part of his pre-game ritual.

So I always went, even if I was still feeling somewhat detached from him. I was in the Colisée sitting next to Michelle and Bianca as the boys were knocked out of the playoffs. Moncton opened up the scoring in the first on the power play. Then Marc-Antoine knotted the score at one on the power play from Sid and Patrick. But in the third Moncton was able to put it away.

To say that the guys were disappointed was putting it lightly. They were absolutely devastated. You could see it in their faces. Some of the guys even cried. It was awful to watch. The Crosby’s were there so I went and talked to them briefly before I headed downstairs to wait outside the locker room.

When Sid and the boys immerged, the crowd that had gathered cheered loudly. The Fans always want the boys to know that they still love them, even after a loss. Even after getting knocked out of the playoffs. Sidney made a beeline for his parents; I barely registered on his radar as he headed for his parents.

“It’s okay Sidney.” Trina said, reaching up to hug her son.

Sidney hugged her back briefly. “We’re all going over to Patrick and Cédrick’s.” He told his parents. “So I probably won’t be back until morning.”

His voice was flat… dead almost. I wanted to reach out and hug him, but I knew him well enough to know that that was the last thing that he wanted right now. What he really wanted was another shot. Another chance at the dig in the corner, that face off loss, that shot from the point.

I sighed. There wasn’t much I could do right now, except be there if he wanted me to be.
Apparently my sigh made me registered on Sid’s radar. “You coming Nickie?” He asked, as he headed into the parking lot, his parents nearby.

I shrugged, feeling almost… accused by the question. “If you want me to, sure. But I mean, if you want it to be guys only….” I trailed off.

“I want you there.” Sidney said. “I mean, B and Michelle are coming I’m sure.” He added. “But before you come over can you run and grab that forty of tequila from the fridge at my place? I’m going to drive over with Eric.”

“Yeah sure.” I said, stretching up and kissing him on the cheek. “I love you Sidney… no matter what.” I whispered. “Do you want anything else? Mark and I still have left-overs from that party….”

“Oh yeah.” Sidney said, his eyes lighting up. “Do you mind grabbing everything you can?” He asked. “I mean, it’s probably going to be a bit of a gong show tonight, so the more booze the better.”

“The more what?” Trina’s voice demanded.

“Oh get off it Mom.” Sidney said, rolling his eyes. “We’re getting drunk off our asses tonight, Monday night or not. We just got knocked out of the playoffs and that means no Memorial Cup this year. No trophy, nothing for the team. So we’re going to spend the night forgetting about it. Deal.”

“Don’t talk to your Mother like that.” Troy said harshly. “Or you won’t be going anywhere tonight.”

Sidney shrugged and reached over, squeezing my fingers in his. “See you soon Nickie?” He asked, heading towards Eric’s truck.

“Yep.” I replied. “I’ll go get everything.”

40 minutes later I was standing at the back door of the duplex that Cédrick and Patrick shared. My car was idling the back alley. The music was so loud that no one answered the door. I kept pounding on the door when a group of guys, including Mark, Marc-Antoine and Danny made their way outside a joint in hand. "You guys really want to get fucked up tonight?” I snapped angrily. “Then put the fucking weed away for a couple of minutes and come and help me with the booze.”

The guys did as they were told. It’s no secret that guys in the CHL occasionally use drugs… especially marijuana, but I just have a thing where I really don’t like drugs, and its’ probably because my Mom abuses things like painkillers and shit. I took a deep breath. The guys had just been knocked out of the playoffs, I reminded myself, and they were just trying to blow off some steam.

I needed to blow off some steam, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen when I wandered into the house. Everyone in there was already completely wasted. In fact, as I walked in, someone shoved Guillaume the goaltender at me. “Nicole you are good to drive non?” Dany Roussin asked me.

I shrugged. “Yeah I’m fine. I haven’t been here long enough to have anything to drink.” I said. “Why?”

“Can you take Guillaume to his billets?” Dany asked.

“I suppose.” I said sullenly, not really wanting to leave… wanting to see Sidney and spend time with him. I glared at Dany. “But if I have to take him you’re coming with me.”

Sidney saw me then and waved, but continued playing sociables with the group he was siting with. “Let’s go.” Dany replied.

I felt completely disconnected from Sid now. As if it really didn’t matter… as if nothing we’d gone through had mattered. It was over it was done. The fact that he never once came to talk to me for the three hours that I was in and out of Patrick and Cédrick’s, and yes, it was more out then in… I was apparently everyone’s DD that night.

Hell, come over to me, after that first wave, he never even bothered to look at me. To make matters worse, for me at least, everyone was completely plastered, stoned, or both. I was the only sober person in the place. Finally, around 2, I found Mark sitting in the corner of the living room starring intently at a lava lamp.

“Let’s go Tobin.” I said irritated.

“Nickie have you ever wondered how these things work?” He asked in reply.

“Nope.” I said, folding my arms across my chest. “Not really.” I paused. “And no, I don’t want to try some of whatever stuff you happen to be on at the moment. All I want to do is go home and go to bed."

“Where’s my Nickie?” Mark asked forlornly. “She loved to party.”

“She is tired and hasn’t been sleeping well. She would like to go home and get a goodnight’s sleep.” I replied. “No come on Tobin.”

“Just give me a little bit longer.” Mark said. “I totally need to figure out how this thing works.”

I sighed. “Mark it’s like this wax stuff and when it warms up it moves in the water.” I told him. “So now you know. Let’s go.”

He didn’t reply. He was totally into the lava lamp. I sighed and stormed off briefly, heading to the bathroom. I brushed past Sidney as I did so. “Sorry Sid.” I muttered angrily.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to him, kissing me hard. “Let’s go to bed Nick.” He whispered, his hands reaching for my breasts.

“Your parents are at your place.” I reminded him. “And I’m tired. I want to get Tobin and go home.”

“Fine.” He snapped drunkenly, stumbling as he walked away from me, letting me know just how drunk he really was. “Go fuck Tobin for all I care.”

Part of me knew that he didn’t really mean it. He was just drunk and angry over losing the series. But that really didn’t make me feel any better. Tears streaming down my face, I ran back to the living room and grabbed Mark. “Either you’re coming home now or you’re spending the night here.” I told him, angrily wiping away my tears.

Mark looked up, and the tears on my face must have sobered him up significantly because he stood, wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me out of the party. He didn’t say anything as we left Patrick and Cédrick’s. In fact, Mark, stoned though he was, didn’t say a word as we got home.

I crawled into bed, feeling alone and scared again. I didn’t like feeling alone and scared. It reminded me far too much of how I felt after Frankie died… when my parents were too wrapped up in their own loss to worry about their little girl. I wanted someone to hold me. In fact, I needed someone to hold me.

So much so that I was tempted to crawl into Mark’s bed, because I knew that he would cuddle with me in the most non-sexual way possible. Except I couldn’t get Sidney’s words about Mark and I out of my mind. So I lay there, crying, trying to sleep, unsure of the future and of what was going to happen with Sidney and I.

Yet at the same time I didn’t want tomorrow, and the answers it would bring to come. I wanted it to be February again, when Sid and I were so blissfully ignorant of what was going to come and when we were just happy being together. When we were just worried about loving each other.

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