Thursday, August 7, 2008

What would I do without You

She was THAT girl. The girl that was what most people considered a brainic. The Girl that everyone knew but no-one was best friends with. Yeah they talked to her but they didn’t know her. She’s not athletic or out-going and no one invites her to just ‘hang-out’. Everyone assumes that she’s happy; that they know her just by having class with her. Everyone except me that is. I know there’s more to her than that. That just because she’s not athletic doesn’t mean she’s not into sports. Trust me, she is; especially when it comes to hockey. Though she may be a brainic she doesn’t act like she knows everything, actually she acts the exact opposite. Just by watching her I’ve learned so much. She writes…poetry, stories, and all sorts of other things. She’s kind, she’ll go out of her way to help you. She’s great with kids. She actually cares about those around her even if they don’t deserve it.
She was my friend. She was always there for me. She was there to cheer me on when I was on the ice. She was there to let me cry when we lost the championship game. She was there when I needed to yell because my girlfriend cheated on me. She was even there when I got my driver’s license and was ready to hit the road. She was there for anything that meant anything to me. I only wish I could say the same.
I wasn’t there for her when she needed me the most. I got her call when she was in the hospital, but I was with my latest fling and decided it wasn’t important. I was wrong, so wrong. The next day I stopped by the house to apologize; only no-one was there. So I tried calling. No one answered. She was gone. They moved I was told.
After awhile I realized, I missed her. I missed her smile. I missed her laugh. I missed her brains. I missed her support. Then I realized what I missed the most was her smell and her touch. Oh, God I’ve fallen for her. Fallen for everything she is. So I searched, and searched, and searched to no avail. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, and my grades started slipping. I just didn’t care. The only thing in my life that didn’t change was hockey. It almost felt like she was pushing me to my best but I know that sounds crazy. My life became a routine that just crept by day by day.
Eventually my life became semi-normal again. I still sought out anything to remind me of her. This drive to find some connection led me online. There I stumbled across a creative writing site where I found a poem that hit home.
Friendship is a thing,
that causes a smile but yet can also hurt you.
Feeling some connection with this author, I went to their profile to read more. There was one entitled ‘My Pain’ so I clicked on it.
Rape-violation knowing that you’ll always feel inferior.
Abuse-knowing someone has complete control over you .
Yet neither of these is as bad as knowing your best isn’t there for you.
I was in shock. I hit the back button in order to read the author’s bio.
Hi, my name is Rachel, but my best friend used to call me Ray…please don’t ask about it. I am 17 and I’m addicted to hockey. Especially the Sudbury Wolves. I currently live in a suburb just east of Sudbury itself. No it can’t be…that has to be her. Oh God, she was raped! I knew I didn’t like him for a reason. I have to find her. At that moment I grabbed my coat and car keys and left my apartment driving east. There is only one suburb east of the city. My best guess is to check there first. As soon as I got close I stopped at a phone booth and grabbed the phone book…ah ha 1542 South St. I hopped back in my car and sped off. 1536…1538…1540…1542. I parked and got out eying the house as I walked up the drive. What the heck…I’ll never know if I don’t knock. I slipped onto the front step and knocked twice quietly. Then again a little louder. After 30 seconds I heard footsteps as the door gently opened. As it did it revealed Ray. The girl I’ve fallen in love with. “I’m so so sorry,” I whispered. “Can you forgive me for being an idiot?” She looked like she was about to cry. She grabbed my hand and led me into the entry and out of the cold. I gently eyed her appearance that I hadn’t seen in nearly 6 ½ months. Wow. She looked different. Her hair was longer and she looked tired. Her chest had grown and her stomach had slightly swollen. She glanced at me carefully as if worried about what I thought. I opened my arms and pulled her to me. I whispered comforting words in her ear. “Ray, I couldn’t care less if you’re pregnant, I love you.” She simply replied ‘oh Marc what would I do without you.’