Chapter 20 - Some Kind of Wonderful

We made our way upstairs to our hotel rooms, which had a connecting door, thanks to Sidney’s meddling. Sidney hands were all over my body, turning me on incredibly as we made our way upstairs. “Stop it.” I hissed to him at one point. “Everyone can see us.”

“So?” Sidney replied, his lips working insistently on my neck.

“So they’re going to think something of this Sid.” I answered, a little nervously. “And I don’t want to get in trouble with Pat or your parents.”

Sidney shrugged. “You don’t think that people have seen me making out with someone before?” He asked. “I mean, I did live here for two years Dare, and I wasn’t celibate the entire time.”

I snorted. “The exact opposite the way you and your friends tell it of course.”

Sidney grinned and pushed me up against the wall of the elevator, kissing me brusquely as he did so. “I want you Dare.” He muttered. “Tonight.”

I kissed him back. “Not tonight Sid.” I whispered as we pulled apart. “Please. Tomorrow. When we can do it right.”

Sidney sighed in obvious frustration. “Why are you so damned concerned about doing it right Dare?” He demanded. “I just want to do it.”

“I’ve noticed.” I muttered dryly. “And I want to make sure that, first off, we both really want it, and two that we are both capable of remembering it in the morning. Sober sex is always better then drunk sex Sid.”

“Not always.” Sid said with a bit of a grin. “I mean, if you’re drunk, you sometimes think its good, even when its bad.”

I chuckled. “Okay, okay, you’ve got me there Crosby.” I admitted. “But I’d rather have both of us sober when we try it for the first time.”

Sidney sighed in frustration. “You’re serious about that huh?”

“Very serious.” I told him nodding. “Sidney, you may not have figured it out yet, but I care about you a lot.”

Sidney sighed, as he let me go, pulling me into his hotel room behind him. “You don’t think that I care about you Dare?” He demanded.

I shrugged. “I know that you care about me Sidney.” I told him with a small smile. “But I’m not sure that you really understand how much I care about you.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, pulling me into his arms as he sat on the bed.

“Sidney I care about you a lot.” I said slowly and quietly. “I wouldn’t give up a job for just anyone… and I wouldn’t travel as much as I have this summer for just anyone. Sidney I think I….” I trailed off, tears welling up in my eyes, unable to continue.

Sidney placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “You what Dare?” He asked gently, his hands stroking my arms, in an attempt to relax me.

“I’m scared.” I whispered quietly.

“You’re what?” Sidney asked, having not heard me clearly.

“I’m scared.” I repeated, a little bit louder.

“What are you scared of?” Sidney asked gently.

“Of us.” I said quietly. “Of you and me. Of being together.”

“Why?” Sidney asked, smoothing my hair away from my face with a surprisingly gentle hand.

I buried my face in his chest and didn’t reply right away. I mean, I wasn’t sure what to say. It’s not exactly and easy thing to figure out. How to do you tell a guy that you’re scared of falling in love with him? That falling in love with him was a scary thing. It wasn’t easy to say and it wasn’t something that I thought that I could say.

Sidney sighed and kissed the top of my head. “I wish you would just trust me Dare.” He muttered. “I don’t understand why you can’t trust me.”

“It’s not you that I don’t trust Sidney.” I whispered, immediately wanting to sooth his fears. “It’s men in general… and I know that you can’t exactly help it Crosby, but you definitely very, very male.”

Sidney smiled teasingly. “And hear I was thinking that what you liked about me the best was the fact that I am very, very male.”

I couldn’t help myself and I giggled. “I definitely enjoy the fact that you are male.” I said, kissing him softly. “It definitely makes you attractive.”

“Good.” Sidney mumbled, slipping his lips over mine, his hands sliding up to cup my chest. “Because babe, a very large part of what attracted me to you was the fact that you are very incredibly, incredibly female.”

“Well that’s good I suppose.” I said, kissing him back.

“Very, very good.” Sidney mumbled, his hands sliding up and down my body, stopping here and there to massage and caress my body.

I moaned low and pressed myself closer. “Just because I’m enjoying this doesn’t mean that I’m not scared Crosby.” I told him, kissing him gently on the lips.

“I know Dare.” Sidney said, laying back on the bed and drawing me gently into his embrace. “I’m not sure that I entirely get WHY you are so scared, but I respect the fact that you’re scared.”

I cuddled closer to him. “Thanks Crosby.” I whispered, kissing him softly.

“You’re an amazing girl Darryl.” Sidney said gently. “You’ve been treated badly by guys like me… I mean, I’ve treated a lot of girls badly. So I can understand your mistrust. I’ve been understanding, but I think that you need to understand that its frustrating for me because I’ve done noting to deserve your mistrust.”

“I know.” I said, my eyes closing slowly. “I want to trust you Sidney. I really do. I just can’t deal with getting hurt again and I feel like I’m setting myself up here.”

Sidney sighed and ran an impatient hand through his hair. “And that hurts me Dare.” He said. “Because I’ve done nothing to deserve your mistrust.”

“Not with me.” I said darkly. “But the same can’t be said for some of the other girls in your life Sid.”

“But that’s THEM.” Sidney said pointedly. “And you are YOU. There is a big difference.”

“Maybe there’s no difference to you Crosby.” I told him honestly. “But to most girls there really isn’t a big difference. After all the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.”

Sidney rolled his eyes. “You’re doing the teacher thing again Dare.” He told me. “And really, it’s getting rather annoying. You aren’t just a teacher. You’re a woman too.”

I sighed. “We really are just repeating ourselves aren’t we?”

Sidney smiled. “Pretty much yep.”

“I just sometimes feel like… well you’ve only stuck with me because you want to fuck me.” I told him honestly. “Once you’ve done that, and you move to Pittsburgh, you’ll move on, and I’ll be left alone.”

Sidney shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Dare, you and I have this intense sexual tension.” He said. “And I’m not going to lie… its freaking awesome and I love being with you because I never know what you’re going to say or how you’re going to make me want you next, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t know the difference between lust and, well, you know.”

I giggled. The boy couldn’t say the word love. “Love?” I supplied, with a wicked grin on my face.

“Yeah, that.” Sidney said, making a face.

“And how exactly am I supposed to believe you when you can’t even say the word?” I asked him teasingly. “I mean, I know it’s a hard word for guys to say, but still Crosby, grow some balls.”

“Excuse me?” Sidney said, surprise in his voice. “Little Miss I’m Scared is telling me to grow some balls?”

“Hey at least I can tell you how I feel about you.” I told him with a smile and shrug. “You can’t even say the L-word. I had to do it for you. Baby.” I teased him.

“You’re going to pay for that Korulyk.” Sidney said grabbing my hands and forcing them over my head, leaning down and kissing me softly.

I wiggled, managing to free a hand, trailing it down to tickle him. Sidney burst out laughing and wiggled, reaching for the hand that I managed to keep out of his grasp. “Don’t you dare!” Sidney almost squealed.

I giggled and kissed him softly. “I’d dare almost anything with you Crosby.” I told him, reaching up and gently smoothing his hair.

“Almost anything is right.” Sidney said, making a face.

I stuck my tongue out at him. “You’ll survive until I feel ready Crosby.” I pointed out. “And if you don’t, well, then you’ll just prove that you are the kind of guy that I’m worried you are.”

“Even though since I’ve met you I totally HAVEN’T been that guy.” Sidney said pointedly, pouting.

“It’s not easy for a tiger to change its stripes Crosby. At least now I do actually believe that it’s possible.” I said pointedly.

“I suppose that’s something.” Sidney grumbled tiredly.

“It’s a lot Crosby.” I told him softly, relaxing in his hold, his heartbeat gently lolling me to sleep. “It’s actually a lot.”

We woke up when our phone rang the next day with our wake up call. Sidney had to be on the ice in an hour. Sid moaned and rolled over cuddling me to him tightly. “Come on Crosby.” I said kissing him softly. “You have to be on the ice in an hour.”

“My head hurts.” He whined.

“I’ve got some advil in the bathroom.” I told him, shoving him gently. “Come on.”

He moaned again and I threw a pillow at him before I opened the curtains. Sidney immediately pulled the pillow over his head. “That hurts Dare.” He muttered.

“Go have a shower and take some pain killers you big baby.” I said with a happy smile.

“Will you at least shower with me?” He asked, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist, burying his face in my neck.

I smiled and kissed him softly on the cheek. “I think that can be arranged Crosby. I definitely think that that can be arranged.”