Part 35 - Pure Gold

I headed back to the hotel and back to my hotel room. I knew that Dion was starting to worry about me and about what was going on with me. He knew that I was upset about something, he just didn’t know what. I felt bad, because this was a super exciting time for him, and I really didn’t want to drag him down.

That wasn’t fair of me. D didn’t deserve it. He was having the time of his life right now and it could only get better if the boys were able to win a gold medal. I couldn’t drag him down by spending the evening pouting in my hotel room could I? (Of course, physically I could.) But I am not exactly the type of person who could. I mean, it wasn’t fair to D and he’s been there for me for so much shit.

I sighed. All I was really doing up here was pouting as I sipped the Jamaican Rum that Getter had given me for Christmas. It wasn’t exactly my best or brightest moment. My boys were going to play in the Gold Medal game. The least I could do was be happy. So what if I’d pissed Sidney off or he’d gotten tired of me? I could always play with Reggie for a little while before we got bored with each other.

Reggie at least would keep me busy until the middle or end of January. Thinking about it made me want a drink, so I took one. I took a long swig of the rum. I couldn’t do that. Cutting off my nose to spite my face might be fun sometimes, but it wasn’t something that I could do now. I just felt too empty… to alone.

I sighed and stood, and after grabbing a beer I wandered downstairs. The guys in D’s room were playing poker when I got there and they all groaned when they saw me the beer in my hand. “God you’re bitch Drew.” D said eyeing the beer enviously.

I shrugged. “You guys will drink after the next game.” I pointed out taking a sip. “One way or the other. Then D, you and I will go back to paint Red Deer Red every weekend that we can.”

“I’d drink to that.” D said mournfully. “If I had a drink that is.”

“Poor baby.” I replied, taking another sip of my drink.

Dion wasn’t playing poker alone of course. Getter, Mikey, Fraz, Reggie and Patrice were with him. But he was the one who muttered. “Bitch.”

I shrugged. “We’ve established that so many times D, it’s really getting old.”

“You are so driving next time we go out.” D said. “In fact, I think we should go on a road trip to Calgary, you, me, and Fraz so we can hook up with Ladd and Getter and then you can do all the driving and see how you like it.”

I shrugged again and took another sip of my beer. “You know that’s cool with me D.” I said. “We’ll find a weekend... maybe right after the regular season.”

Getter nodded. “That could be good.” He said. “But we’ll have to see how the playoff schedule goes.”

“True.” I replied. “Knowing the CHL they’ll do something stupid like start the playoffs on the weekend.”

D shrugged. “We’ll think of something.” He said.

I sat around watching them play poker for about an hour before I got really, really bored. I sighed. Sidney hadn’t stopped by tonight either. His roommate was in here, and they usually liked spending time together. Could I be the reason he was staying away?

With that thought in my mind I decided to go take a walk. I’d finished my beer and knew that I had to pitch it somewhere else. “I’ll be back in awhile.” I said to Dion, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek.

“Sure thing Drew.” D said, concentrating on his hand.

“No kiss for me?” Reggie asked plaintively, pouting.

I rolled my eyes. Then I kissed all of them on the cheek. “Happy now?” I asked as I saved my last kiss for Reggie.

“No.” He replied. “I haven’t gotten laid in weeks.”

I burst out laughing. “Well that isn’t something I can’t help you with.” I said. “Well I could, technically speaking of course, but I’m not going to.” I paused. “And if it makes you feel better, I haven’t gotten laid since November, and that was just birthday sex, so it doesn’t count.”
Mikey looked at me funny. “It doesn’t count?”

D laughed. “Drew and I decided a long time ago that there are certain kinds of sex that just don’t count. Rebound sex….”

“Wedding sex… unless you’re the one getting married.”

“Got knocked out of the playoffs sex….” D said with a grin.

“And birthday sex.” I finished.

“Don’t forget I’ve wanted in your pants since high school sex.” D added helpfully.

“Oh yeah, I can’t believe I forgot that one.” I said. “So yeah. Those are the kinds of sex that totally don’t count. But I have to go get rid of this.” I told them, indicating my beer bottle. “So I’ll be back.”

I headed up to my room and put the empty beer bottle in the box with the others before wandering back downstairs. I stopped in at Brent’s room, where a bunch of Dub boys were watching ‘Friday Night Lights’ on pay-per-view and basically waved at everyone, before wandering down the hall in search of Sidney.

I wasn’t entirely sure why I was looking for him. I mean, everything between us lately had been so damn strained. But I still cared about him. I had a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that told me that even if things ended badly between the two of us, I would always care about him and be there for him if he needed me.

I knocked softly on his hotel room door, which was unlocked and opened, peering in as I did so. “What?” Sidney’s voice called from the bed.

“May I come in?” I asked softly.

“Yeah sure.” He said, barely looking at me.

I wandered into the room and I could see him now, laying on his stomach on one of the beds, a heat pack on his lower back. The bruise appeared to be gone, which made me feel relieved, but I knew that it really didn’t mean that much. Muscle damage can be a bitch. I didn’t know what to do, or where to sit, so finally I just sat on the bed near his head.

Sidney didn’t say anything as I sat down, and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say. Or what I could or should say... if I should say anything to him at all. Hell even if I did know what I was supposed to say I wasn’t sure I knew how to say it. So I sat there. Sidney was just flipping channels, he didn’t appear to be watching anything in particular. I sighed.

I leaned back against the bed. It wasn’t exactly the most comfortable place to sit, but at least this way I was near Sidney. He was basically taking up the whole bed, with the heat pack on his back. I knew that I shouldn’t say anything about his injury… he wouldn’t want me to. I titled my head back slightly, my hair spilling onto the bed.

I lay there for awhile, and then I felt Sidney’s fingers starting to play with my hair. I turned to face him. His eyes met mine and they were filled with so much caring, so much emotion, that I was really speechless now. I mean, I’d spent the last couple of days convincing myself that it didn’t matter… that he didn’t matter, and now I was faced with evidence to the contrary.

I took a deep breath. “Sidney I have to ask you something….” I said softly.

“Hmm?” Sidney asked, engrossed in playing with my hair.

“Why have you ignored me so much the past couple of days?” I asked, starring up at him until he met my gaze.

Sidney sighed deeply, his fingers still playing with my hair. “Drew I know this is going to sound so cliché.” He said. “But the fact is, I’m under a ton of pressure right now baby.”

“I know that.” I replied, still feeling hurt. “I completely understand. But I didn’t know what was going on until you told me just now. So of course I’m going to be worried and nervous.”

Sidney glanced down at me. “You were worried and nervous?” He asked looking surprised.

“Of course I was Sid.” I said. “I had no idea what you were thinking… I mean maybe you hadn’t meant what you said to me… maybe you were just living in the moment like so many guys your age do. I mean, I didn’t blame you or anything, I just was under the impression that you were far more grown up then that.”

“I am Drew.” Sidney told me firmly. “Its not just the pressure of this tournament though baby… I’m in a lot of pain. My back is killing me most of the time, and then I have to watch you have fun with other guys. I worry too.”

“What you worry about?” I asked, turning, his fingers now clasped around mine, his thumb and fingers gently messaging mine.

“Whether or not you were having more fun with Chris Getzlaf or whoever you were hanging out with at night and its just too much for me right now baby.” He whispered squeezing my fingers.

I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and kiss it better. But I couldn’t do that. So I sighed and reached over and gently stroked his face. It was baby smooth, as always.
“Sweetie I didn’t mean to make you worry.” I said softly. “I was just trying to have some fun… then you and I were arguing about stupid shit and it seemed to me that you were ignoring me and didn’t want me around.”

“I’m sorry baby.” Sidney replied, his eyes shinning. “It’s just when I feel like I’m under so much pressure….” He trailed off.

“Sidney’s its okay.” I said, my hand still on his cheek, my thumb still stroking his cheek gently. “I do really understand.”

Sidney’s gaze burned. “What on earth did I ever do to deserve you?” He asked me softly, gently stroking my head with a soft hand.

“Nothing really.” I replied with a teasing smile.

Sidney laughed. “Well gee thanks.”

“Sid we’ve met under weird kind of circumstances.” I pointed out. “Normally when I meet a hockey player it’s during the season, not during a winner take all, loser go home tournament. Most of them, like Jarrett are popular players and highly ranked or whatever, but they aren’t being billed by people as the next best thing to happen to hockey. You have a lot more pressure in your life. You have a lot more media scrutiny.”

Sidney sighed. “Thanks baby.” He said. “That’s why I don’t date that often.” He told me softly.

“Because of the media attention?” I joked.

“Actually in part yes. The media is all over me all the time lately. But it’s more because I can’t trust most girls my age to understand. The girls who try and date me, they fawn all over me because I’m the phenom.” He explained. “But they treat me like I’m so kind of trophy… something they can show off to all their friends. I can’t lie… I’ve treated some of them the same way. But they always get mad at me when I can’t deal or when I’m not around when they want me to be.”

“Sidney I’m not going to get upset with you if you have another, far more important for your future commitment.” I told him firmly. “But you can’t turn around and blame me for being worried.”

“I don’t blame you though.” He said, sounding surprised.

“Sidney, there is something about me that I don’t think you’ve picked up on yet.” I told him.

“And what’s that?” He asked.

“I am the kind of person who will cut off my nose to spite my face.” I told him. “If I don’t know what’s going on with you… what you’re thinking or feeling, then I am the kind of person who will do something stupid because I am feeling sorry for myself.”

“You didn’t do anything stupid this time did you?” He asked worriedly.

“No.” I said with a small smile, looking deeply into his eyes. “Every time I thought about it… and I can’t lie, I thought about it, all that came to my mind was you.”

“Good.” He said softly, dropping a kiss on my forehead.

I shivered with sensation. There was something about the tenderness of that action that made want to melt in his arms. “Sidney…” I whispered.

“I want you Drew.” He said, his hand smoothing my hair out of my eyes. “Today, tomorrow, forever. I want you.”

“I want you too sweetie.” I said. “I want you in my life. I can’t imagine not being able to see you every day… and I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with you going home to Rimouski.”

“Come visit me.” He replied.

“If the time comes and you still want me in your life Sidney I will be there.” I told him, standing and kissing his forehead. He responded by kissing me first on the forehead and then each of my cheeks. “And if you need me, for whatever reason sweetie, I’ll be there.”