I didn’t see Sidney again for a year, when I went to Grand Forks, North Dakota to watch the World Juniors. Drew was playing for the US again, unfortunately for me (and more for himself) Jacky had just failed to make the team (undisciplined play), so there were people there that I knew.
Add to it the fact that my father had once again made a very generous donation to both Hockey Canada and USA Hockey, and once again, I was on the inside of all the action. I went to the rink on Christmas Eve Day to watch some of the team’s practice. I was looking forward to meeting Alexander Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin, the two young Russian superstars.
Except that when I got there, Team Canada was just finishing practicing before the Russians took to the ice. I wasn’t scheduled to meet Ovechkin and Malkin until after they were done practicing, so I couldn’t very well ignore Mike Richards when he called my name.
He was sweaty, but he still looked good as he called my name. “Kally!” He said.
I hadn’t seen him in a year, so I hugged him, despite the fact that he was sweaty and smelly. “Hi Mikey.”
He glanced into my eyes, the look long and meaningful. “You and Sidney are through aren’t you?” He asked, softly so that no one could hear him.
“I left Rimouski on the 12th of January last year.” I told him with a tremulous smile. “I haven’t been back since, though I did go to PEI to visit Danny this summer and I went to Saint-Fabien to see Patrick… I didn’t have time to go to Newfoundland to see Mark… but I had to go to school.”
Mikey nodded slowly. “You’re at an Ivy league school aren’t you?”
“Yale.” I replied with a nod.
“I thought you were going to Princeton.” Sidney’s voice said from behind me.
I turned slowly. He looked amazing, even sweaty as he was coming off the ice. He looked as gorgeous as he had that first time I saw him at Shattuck’s… better even, because he’d filled out and matured. I shook my head, my mouth almost too dry to answer. “I changed my mind.” I said hoarsely.
Sidney chuckled. “Admit it Kally, you just didn’t like the idea of living in New Jersey.”
I shrugged, as nonchalantly as possible. It was just like that first day at Shattuck’s. I felt drawn to him again. Part of me wanted to fling myself into his arms and kiss him. “What can I say kid? I’m no Jersey girl.”
Mikey was still standing there awkwardly. He leaned forward and dropped a quick kiss on my forehead. “I’ll leave you two alone Kally.” He whispered softly. Then he said something to Sidney that I couldn’t hear.
Neither Sidney nor I acknowledged Mikey. Sidney was smiling at me. The first time he’d really smiled at me in a far too long. “I guess I still know you Kally.”
I nodded slowly, feeling as if things were moving in slow motion. “You’re still in elite company there kid.”
He shrugged, looking slightly uncomfortable… he was playing with his stick, as if he wanted to take off his gloves and touch me. Or maybe he just wanted to get away from me. I hadn’t seen him in almost a year, for all I knew I was reading him completely wrong. “You like school?” He asked awkwardly.
“Its good.” I said with a shrug, unsure of what to say.
We stood there in silence for several minutes, despite the fact that the other guys were making their way out of the dressing room and were looking at us oddly as they headed for the bus. We were doing what we’d done that last day in Rimouski… trying to look at each other without getting caught by the other person.
“I should probably go….” I said slowly and awkwardly. “I’m supposed to meet some people….” I trailed off.
Sidney reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me back towards him. He looked down at me, his eyes blazing. “You never said goodbye Kally.” He said forcefully. “You just left. Without saying goodbye.”
“You would have tried to convince me to stay.” I told him honestly, well aware that there were tears sliding down my cheeks. “And if you had tried to convince me to stay, well I would have.”
“So you just left?” Sidney asked, as though he still didn’t get it. “Despite everything that we went through together since we met, you thought that the best solution was to just leave without saying goodbye?”
“I threw a party the last night I was there.” I said with a shrug. “You were free to come. But you and your friends never showed up. Mark, Danny, Cèdrick, Alex and Patrick were all there. They all got to say goodbye.” I paused. “Why didn’t you come Sidney? You knew I was leaving, but you didn’t come to say goodbye either.”
Sidney shrugged. “I didn’t think it would matter.” He told me. “You’d already made up your mind.” He paused, taking a deep breath, and turning away from me briefly, throwing down his gloves, putting aside his stick and running an irritated hand through his hair. “You know I didn’t believe Danny when he told me that you were moving. I just… I still thought that you would tell me first.”
“You did?” I asked, surprised.
Sidney continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “So he taunted me into going over there. And when I got there and all your stuff was packed I just…” He paused, taking another deep breath. “I just couldn’t believe it you know?” He asked, running his hand through his hair again. “It took the wind right out of my sails so to speak.”
“It did?” I asked quietly.
“Totally.” Sidney told me, his eyes burning into mine the same way that they used to. “I went home to see my family for a bit after one of the toughest loses of my hockey career. And to make it worse, I’d lost off the ice too, with you. Then I get back and you’re all packed and ready to go. I was in shock. So I did the only thing that I thought I could do.”
I snorted. “You didn’t do anything Sidney. You just gave me your key to the house and left.” I reminded him in case he’d forgotten that day. I know that I hadn’t. It replayed itself in my mind every day since I’d left.
“It was the only thing I thought I could do.” He said desperately, turning and pacing a few steps before turning and pacing back to me. “I told you that I’d see you later Kally. I wouldn’t have said it if I hadn’t meant it.”
I shrugged. “I thought that that meant that you were going to come to the party on Sunday. I was sure that the guys had let you know about it. Since you didn’t show up and neither did any of your friends, well I figured you were all out celebrating my impending departure.”
Sidney looked at me in surprise, his eyes wide. “Kally, baby, I could never celebrate the fact that you were leaving me. Never. I went to your house on Monday and you were already gone. What was I supposed to do?”
“You had my cell number kid.” I muttered, feeling a strange sense of guilt. “You could have tried that.”
Sidney sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. “Have you ever heard that old saying Kally?”
“There are a lot of old sayings out there kid.” I said with a shrug. “You’ll have to be a bit more specific.”
Sidney’s eyes burned into mine as he pulled me against him. My body met his sweaty pads and I didn’t feel any disgust at all oddly, it was rather arousing. “If you love something let it go. If it comes back its yours. That’s how you’ll know.” Sidney said, his voice low. “Only you never came back Kally.”
My mouth was suddenly dry. My palms were sweaty. I felt like a 12-year-old girl about to get her first kiss again. “I had to leave to let you go Sidney.” I whispered. “If I stayed… I couldn’t stay there and not be with you.”
Sidney raised his eyebrows. “So what you’re saying Kally….” He said, trailing a finger down my cheek. “Is that you left to let me go, and I never came back to you.”
I nodded, my mouth dry. “Yes.” I managed hoarsely after several moments of silence.
Sidney was still starring at me. His eyes locked on mine. It was as though he was focused on finding something in my eyes that he couldn’t say anything. I guess he found what he was looking for because all of a sudden his mouth was crashing down on mine.
With a sigh I wrapped my arms around his neck. The feeling of his lips on mine… his tongue fencing with mine… it was like coming home. I moaned low as Sidney broke the kiss. “Welcome back Kally.” He whispered, one hand gently caressing my hair. “Welcome back.”
The End
Add to it the fact that my father had once again made a very generous donation to both Hockey Canada and USA Hockey, and once again, I was on the inside of all the action. I went to the rink on Christmas Eve Day to watch some of the team’s practice. I was looking forward to meeting Alexander Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin, the two young Russian superstars.
Except that when I got there, Team Canada was just finishing practicing before the Russians took to the ice. I wasn’t scheduled to meet Ovechkin and Malkin until after they were done practicing, so I couldn’t very well ignore Mike Richards when he called my name.
He was sweaty, but he still looked good as he called my name. “Kally!” He said.
I hadn’t seen him in a year, so I hugged him, despite the fact that he was sweaty and smelly. “Hi Mikey.”
He glanced into my eyes, the look long and meaningful. “You and Sidney are through aren’t you?” He asked, softly so that no one could hear him.
“I left Rimouski on the 12th of January last year.” I told him with a tremulous smile. “I haven’t been back since, though I did go to PEI to visit Danny this summer and I went to Saint-Fabien to see Patrick… I didn’t have time to go to Newfoundland to see Mark… but I had to go to school.”
Mikey nodded slowly. “You’re at an Ivy league school aren’t you?”
“Yale.” I replied with a nod.
“I thought you were going to Princeton.” Sidney’s voice said from behind me.
I turned slowly. He looked amazing, even sweaty as he was coming off the ice. He looked as gorgeous as he had that first time I saw him at Shattuck’s… better even, because he’d filled out and matured. I shook my head, my mouth almost too dry to answer. “I changed my mind.” I said hoarsely.
Sidney chuckled. “Admit it Kally, you just didn’t like the idea of living in New Jersey.”
I shrugged, as nonchalantly as possible. It was just like that first day at Shattuck’s. I felt drawn to him again. Part of me wanted to fling myself into his arms and kiss him. “What can I say kid? I’m no Jersey girl.”
Mikey was still standing there awkwardly. He leaned forward and dropped a quick kiss on my forehead. “I’ll leave you two alone Kally.” He whispered softly. Then he said something to Sidney that I couldn’t hear.
Neither Sidney nor I acknowledged Mikey. Sidney was smiling at me. The first time he’d really smiled at me in a far too long. “I guess I still know you Kally.”
I nodded slowly, feeling as if things were moving in slow motion. “You’re still in elite company there kid.”
He shrugged, looking slightly uncomfortable… he was playing with his stick, as if he wanted to take off his gloves and touch me. Or maybe he just wanted to get away from me. I hadn’t seen him in almost a year, for all I knew I was reading him completely wrong. “You like school?” He asked awkwardly.
“Its good.” I said with a shrug, unsure of what to say.
We stood there in silence for several minutes, despite the fact that the other guys were making their way out of the dressing room and were looking at us oddly as they headed for the bus. We were doing what we’d done that last day in Rimouski… trying to look at each other without getting caught by the other person.
“I should probably go….” I said slowly and awkwardly. “I’m supposed to meet some people….” I trailed off.
Sidney reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me back towards him. He looked down at me, his eyes blazing. “You never said goodbye Kally.” He said forcefully. “You just left. Without saying goodbye.”
“You would have tried to convince me to stay.” I told him honestly, well aware that there were tears sliding down my cheeks. “And if you had tried to convince me to stay, well I would have.”
“So you just left?” Sidney asked, as though he still didn’t get it. “Despite everything that we went through together since we met, you thought that the best solution was to just leave without saying goodbye?”
“I threw a party the last night I was there.” I said with a shrug. “You were free to come. But you and your friends never showed up. Mark, Danny, Cèdrick, Alex and Patrick were all there. They all got to say goodbye.” I paused. “Why didn’t you come Sidney? You knew I was leaving, but you didn’t come to say goodbye either.”
Sidney shrugged. “I didn’t think it would matter.” He told me. “You’d already made up your mind.” He paused, taking a deep breath, and turning away from me briefly, throwing down his gloves, putting aside his stick and running an irritated hand through his hair. “You know I didn’t believe Danny when he told me that you were moving. I just… I still thought that you would tell me first.”
“You did?” I asked, surprised.
Sidney continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “So he taunted me into going over there. And when I got there and all your stuff was packed I just…” He paused, taking another deep breath. “I just couldn’t believe it you know?” He asked, running his hand through his hair again. “It took the wind right out of my sails so to speak.”
“It did?” I asked quietly.
“Totally.” Sidney told me, his eyes burning into mine the same way that they used to. “I went home to see my family for a bit after one of the toughest loses of my hockey career. And to make it worse, I’d lost off the ice too, with you. Then I get back and you’re all packed and ready to go. I was in shock. So I did the only thing that I thought I could do.”
I snorted. “You didn’t do anything Sidney. You just gave me your key to the house and left.” I reminded him in case he’d forgotten that day. I know that I hadn’t. It replayed itself in my mind every day since I’d left.
“It was the only thing I thought I could do.” He said desperately, turning and pacing a few steps before turning and pacing back to me. “I told you that I’d see you later Kally. I wouldn’t have said it if I hadn’t meant it.”
I shrugged. “I thought that that meant that you were going to come to the party on Sunday. I was sure that the guys had let you know about it. Since you didn’t show up and neither did any of your friends, well I figured you were all out celebrating my impending departure.”
Sidney looked at me in surprise, his eyes wide. “Kally, baby, I could never celebrate the fact that you were leaving me. Never. I went to your house on Monday and you were already gone. What was I supposed to do?”
“You had my cell number kid.” I muttered, feeling a strange sense of guilt. “You could have tried that.”
Sidney sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. “Have you ever heard that old saying Kally?”
“There are a lot of old sayings out there kid.” I said with a shrug. “You’ll have to be a bit more specific.”
Sidney’s eyes burned into mine as he pulled me against him. My body met his sweaty pads and I didn’t feel any disgust at all oddly, it was rather arousing. “If you love something let it go. If it comes back its yours. That’s how you’ll know.” Sidney said, his voice low. “Only you never came back Kally.”
My mouth was suddenly dry. My palms were sweaty. I felt like a 12-year-old girl about to get her first kiss again. “I had to leave to let you go Sidney.” I whispered. “If I stayed… I couldn’t stay there and not be with you.”
Sidney raised his eyebrows. “So what you’re saying Kally….” He said, trailing a finger down my cheek. “Is that you left to let me go, and I never came back to you.”
I nodded, my mouth dry. “Yes.” I managed hoarsely after several moments of silence.
Sidney was still starring at me. His eyes locked on mine. It was as though he was focused on finding something in my eyes that he couldn’t say anything. I guess he found what he was looking for because all of a sudden his mouth was crashing down on mine.
With a sigh I wrapped my arms around his neck. The feeling of his lips on mine… his tongue fencing with mine… it was like coming home. I moaned low as Sidney broke the kiss. “Welcome back Kally.” He whispered, one hand gently caressing my hair. “Welcome back.”
The End
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