Chapter 16 - An American Flavour

I waited expectantly for Sidney to answer, though I wasn’t sure what answer I was expecting. I wasn’t sure if he was just going to tell me what he thought I wanted to hear, or if he was going to blow me off completely. To make matters worse, I wasn’t sure which answer would be worse.
Probably the first one, because if he told me what I wanted to hear, then I’d let myself fall for him and when he let me down, I’d be the one who got hurt. And badly. At least if he blew me off now, well then I’d know once and for all, and even though I’d still be hurt, it wouldn’t hurt as badly as it would days, weeks or months from now.
Sidney ran a hand through his hair. “Jeez Kally.” He muttered, eyeing me. He paused, taking a deep breath. “Kally, when we were at Shattuck’s I was absolutely positive that you were the one for me baby…. I just knew it from the minute we met. But you… you didn’t seem to notice or care about how much I liked you.” He told me softly. “So I tried to stop liking you so much by seeing any other girl who was decently good looking. But compared to you, all of them fell short. None of them were as pretty. None of them were as smart. None of them were as right for me. I kept trying, but it didn’t work Kally, because none of them were you.”
“Sidney I liked you from the minute I saw you.” I burst out, knowing that he wasn’t finished. “I felt like I knew you and you knew me. But I was scared kid.” “Scared of what Kally?” Sidney asked surprised. “As far as I knew, Kallista Ashira Ormonde-Van Steen of the New York Van Steen’s wasn’t afraid of anything.”
“It’s just Van Steen now.” I told him before glancing down at my Nikes (I’d changed my clothes after I’d gotten home from the Colisèe). “But either way Sidney, I’m still petrified.” “Of what Kally?” Sidney asked, pulling me back into his arms and gently stroking my hair. I pulled away. “I’m scared of being rejected kid.” I told him quietly, looking deeply into his chocolate brown eyes. I reached up and gently stroked his cheek with my thumb. “I’m scared of being hurt.”
“Rejected Kally?” Sidney asked, his eyes wide. “Who on earth would reject you?” He demanded. “What guy in his right mind wouldn’t want you baby?”
I shook my head sadly. “That’s just it Sidney.” I said slowly, struggling to figure out how to explain this to him. “A lot of guys want me. Most of the ones I meet want me. But they just want to fuck me. I’m used to that Sid, and I enjoy the attention. But they only want to fuck me, and I know it. Sometimes I just want to get laid, so it works. But in the end, they only want to fuck me. Once they’ve managed to get into my pants they never want to see me again, because I’ve got a fucking reputation.”
I paused, taking a deep breath as I did so. “Sidney I’m used to being a puck fuck. To not being good enough to take home to Mom.” I told him softly, my fingers playing with his hand, not quite believing that I was telling him all of this. I’d never even talked to Zach about how being a puck fuck made me feel. Yet here I was, telling him. “Sidney I’m the fun party girl. Not the kind of girl that you introduce to Mom.”
Sidney looked at me, surprised again. His innocence was just as charming as it was sweet. “What about you and Zach Kal?” He asked. “I mean, Mrs. Parisé completely adores you.” I shook my head with a sigh and rueful smile. “Sidney much as I love him, I know full well that Zachie never intended to introduce me to his Mom.” I told him.
“What do you mean?” He asked. “I thought that the Parisé’s have known you since you and Zach first hooked up.”
“They have.” I said. “But Zach never intended for it to happen that way kid. His Dad caught us in the locker room at Shattuck’s.” I told him blushing. “Quite literally. My uniform was open and my skirt was bunched around my waist and Zach’s pants were down around his ankles as Zach held me up against the locker and we went at it.”
Sidney laughed clearly picturing Mr. Parisé walking in on such a scene. “I could only imagine what my Dad would do if he caught me with my pants down.” He said, chuckling. I giggled. “Well I already have kid.” I reminded him, my fingers trailing teasingly up the inside of his thigh and passing lightly over his groin. “And believe me kid, if you know how to use it then you definitely have a good thing going.”
He pulled my hand off his thigh and kissed the palm, sending another shiver of pure desire racing through my body. He paused, sucking gently on one of my fingers, causing me to shudder in delight. “Not now baby.” He said, grinning wickedly, knowing he’d just done to me what I’d done to him. “I want you to finish your story. You need to get this off your chest Kally and we both know it.”
I nodded, tears welling up in my eyes. I buried my face in his still bare chest for a couple of seconds, breathing in his smell. I pressed a soft kiss on his chest before I caught a glimmer from his wrist. “You’re wearing the watch.” I said, surprised. If he’d been wearing it earlier, I hadn’t noticed, so I was somewhat surprised.
He smiled at me. “I’ve worn it for part of the day every day since it got to my house Kally.” He paused. “Well once I’d convinced my parents and my agent that it really wasn’t as big a deal as they were making out of it.”
That surprised me. “Why would it be a big deal?” I asked him.
Sidney chuckled and dropped a soft kiss on my forehead. “This is one of the things I like about you baby.” He told me with a grin. “You are so naïve about money. You don’t even blink over spending it on whoever or whatever you want. This watch is probably worth as much as this house is Kally. My parents and agents were afraid that Cartier was trying to like, get me to endorse their product and all I was getting was a watch. I had to explain all about you and your family before they’d let me wear it.”
“Why?” I asked, confused.
“Because it is a really, really expensive gift Kal.” He explained. “My family and Pat, my agent, were worried that this was some kind of payoff or something.” He shrugged. “I don’t really know why.”
That’s silly.” I told him, fingering the watch. “For one thing, half of New York’s Upper East Side endorses Cartier. They don’t need a 16-year-old hockey player. For another, they sent you to a boarding school with a bunch of snooty rich kids.” I paused and grinned at him. “And as a Van Steen of the New York Van Steen’s I just happened to be the richest and snootiest of them all.” I elbowed him playfully. “You just picked good Crosby.”
He laughed and glanced down at me. “And you’re wearing the necklace.” He said, fingering it gently, as I had done to the watch.
“I wore it the day I graduated.” I told him with a smile. “And I was grateful for it Sidney. It was the first time in my life that my entire family was together for anything.” I told him. “I definitely needed the luck.”
Sidney made a face. He knew enough about my family to know that having them all together in one place would definitely be something of an experience and not necessarily a fun one. “How was that for you?” He asked.
“Don’t ask.” I replied, making a face. “But the necklace definitely brought me some luck.” I told him quickly, not wanting him to think that it wasn’t lucky for me. “Because I’m here instead of at Brown, Georgetown or Harvard.”
“Good.” He replied, pulling me a little bit closer and kissing me softly on the forehead again. “Where are you going to go to school?”
“Princeton.” I told him. “ Despite my Mother’s objections. Oh and in other news….” I said in falsely bright tones. “My 40-year-old Mother is pregnant with triplets. And she’s already promised me that she is going to be a better Mom to my little brothers and sister then she ever was to me.”
“That’s actually kind of cool.” Sidney said hesitantly.
I rolled my eyes. “Sidney, my Dad, who my Mother cannot stand knew she was pregnant before I did. She couldn’t even tell me in person. She had to do it over the phone.”
“That is not the cool part.” He said with a shrug. “And Kally you have every right to be mad. She wasn’t much of a Mom to you at all and that wasn’t fair to you. This is why you dropped ‘Ormonde’ from you last name isn’t it?” He asked.
I nodded in reply, but didn’t say anything, and he continued. “But try thinking about it this way… if you aren’t talking to your Mom who knows what will happen to these kids. I mean, your Mom was nearly 20 years younger when she had just you and she couldn’t deal. With you in her face all the time, she’ll have to try to be true to her promise of being a better parent to the three of them.” He explained. “And if she isn’t… if she can’t handle 3 nearly 20 years after she couldn’t handle only one, well at least then… well they’ll have you Kally.”
I kissed him softly on the lips. “Thanks kid.” I said with feeling. “You always seem to know just what to say to make me feel better.”
He kissed me on the nose. “That’s because I know you Kally.” He said simply. “Just like I know that you have once again done a magnificent job of changing the subject on me baby.”
I blushed. I’d totally been caught. I should have known that if anyone would know what I was doing it was Sidney. He grinned to see me blush and kissed me softly on the lips. “Now tell me what happened when Mr. Parisé caught you and Zach.”
I blushed an even deeper shade of red. I had never told anyone this story, yet here I was, telling this guy that I adored all about it. “Mr. Parisé didn’t know that I spoke French.” I explained. “So after Zach and I had, umm, rearranged our clothing and were standing there in front of him, he basically reamed Zach out in French. I got angry, at being caught and at being forced to stand there and listen to this, so I told him in French to stop.” I paused, remembering. “I told him that his son was actually a decent guy. He didn’t treat me like a slut, no matter what had happened just now. That Zach actually talked to me at school. And he did. I didn’t lie for him.”
“What did Mr. Parisé say?” Sidney asked.
“He asked me why I was defending the guy who was fucking me up against a locker in the locker room.” I told him. “And I said it wasn’t because he deserved it, but because I felt like I was defending both of us.”
Sidney chuckled. “He probably didn’t deserve it Kally.” He said.
I shrugged. “Probably not.” I said. “But I’ve always actually liked Zachie. It wasn’t just about sex for me, even when it was. I mean, I cared about him, if that makes sense.”
Sidney nodded. “I don’t want you to stop caring about Zach, Kally. You’re important to each other, and I understand that.”
“Good.” I said, nodding. “Either way, Mr. Parisé grinned and chuckled and told Zach that I was the type of girl his Mother would like, and then he invited me into St. Paul for Saturday dinner…. And for the record kid, he caught us together on a Monday, after Zach was done practice and before I had harp.”
“So that was that huh?” Sidney asked. “The rest was history?”
I shrugged. “Not really.” I said. “Zach didn’t talk to me for the rest of the week. The first time I slept over at the Parisé’s I slept in his bed, but I slept huddled up in one blanket in the corner, my back to him and his to mine.” I paused. “Eventually we worked things out of course, but he couldn’t forget that we used to fuck in the locker room and I couldn’t forget that he couldn’t forget it.”
I paused again. “I don’t want it to be like that with you Sidney.” I said. “I don’t want to always be wondering. I want to know.” I took a deep breath. “I want to know that you respect me Sidney. I want to know that you’re here because you care and not just because you want to get laid, and you know I’m good for that.”
The minute the words were out of my mouth I regretted them. Because the minute I said that, Sidney pulled away from and stood, buttoning his shirt as he did so. I sighed sadly. I shouldn’t have anything. I should have known better. I should have just enjoyed it well it lasted. Instead, this was it. This was where he was going to blow me off and walk away from me. I tried to brace myself for what was coming but as with everything else that had happened with Sidney since we’d met, I wasn’t in control of my emotions, they were in control of me. To my intense surprise however, Sidney didn’t let me down as I was expecting. “God Kally, stop with the tears already baby.” He said firmly, sitting back down on the couch next to me, his shirt half buttoned. He pulled me into his arms. “Baby you want to know whether or not I think of you as a puck.” He said gently, stroking my hair softly as I lay my head on his chest again. “And I understand that baby. I know you don’t think its possible, but Kally if you were anyone else baby, a girl from Canada, I’d question whether or not you were with me for the right reasons.”
“What does that mean for us Sidney?” I asked softly, looking him in the eyes.
“It means that we aren’t going to have sex right now Kally.” He said. “In fact, it means that we aren’t going to have sex until both of us feel ready and secure in what we’ve got Kally.” He said, with maturity and wisdom well beyond his 16 years. “And we definitely won’t be having sex until I’ve had the chance to introduce you to my Mom as my girlfriend baby.”