Chapter 5 - Wait for You

The morning was rough. After breakfast, we scouted our next opponent – Massachusetts – before going to practice. Because today would be our only day off for the rest of the tournament, I got to take it easy at practice. When we play tournaments, I usually spend the between-games-off-day practice in the batting cage. I’ve got a good bat and if for whatever reason I’m not pitching, I’m the designated player – meaning I bat for Megan, our other pitcher, who is just a freshman. Playing DP has happened about five times this year because we let Megan pitch against some of the non-conference opponents to get her some experience. I’d bat every game if my coaches would let me.

We wrapped up practice around 11 and got back on the bus to go back to the hotel. As always after practice, I wanted a shower. I was sweaty and felt gross. When we got back to the hotel, I grabbed my bat bag and started walking in the door when Sidney stopped me in the lobby.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“How was practice?”

“Good.”

He just smiled at me.

“Are you going to be available at some point today? I know Jen wants to go to the mall this afternoon, but can I steal you away tonight maybe after dinner?”

“Yeah, but not for long. I need to study some for tomorrow’s game.”

“That’s fine. I just want five minutes.”

“Ok. Meet you in the courtyard at 7:30?”

“That’s great.”

“I’ll see you then. Bye, Sidney.”

“Bye, Katie.”

God, it ripped through me when I read it on the card with the flowers and now to hear him say it gave me chills.

I showered and went to lunch before meeting Jen and my mom in the lobby at one. Dad hated shopping but never discouraged me or my mom from having fun while doing it. In fact, he sent word through Mom that I was to “go crazy” with his money. The mall here was great, and well, while I hated shopping in regards to the hours and hours of walking, I loved clothes. I guess I get it from my mom. I have a pretty good taste in fashion, but the sense to figure out how to take a $5 shirt and $10 pair of shoes and make it work with a good pair of jeans.

“You actually are removing yourself from Colby for a few hours?” I asked Jen.

“Yes,” she replied, sticking her tongue out at me. “He and Sidney were going out to the lake.”

We talked on the way to the car and more on the way to the mall. Mom wanted to know about practice and our game plan for tomorrow, while Jen and I talked about the stores we wanted to hit up.

Three hours and $3,500 later, I called it a day of shopping. My mother convinced me I needed some more dresses, so I bought three along with some accessories. Jen and I both bought more jeans and shirts. I even spent $400 on shoes. With everything I bought, I’d be good for the rest of the year. It also meant cleaning my closet out when I got home. I go on sprees like this usually twice a year when I go home. Mom and I visit Atlanta and just let ourselves go. Instead of trying to cram tons of clothes in my closet, after each spree I clean the closet out and donate anything I haven’t worn in the past six months to charity. After today, I had literally shopped until I dropped.

I had dinner with my teammates at six and then returned to my room to read a little before I met Sidney. It didn’t take me long to put down my book before I just sat there and thought about things. He did something to me that was just unexplainable. I found myself wanting to be around him, talk to him and find any excuse I could to do so. But, I was weighing that war with the real one going on in my life – trying to win a national championship. We had an understanding that I needed no distractions but the tension between us was so evident, and I wondered how long we both could handle it. If I could hold out another week, he’d be gone, and I wouldn’t have to face him again. But, I didn’t want him to be gone out of my life.

I sat on the same bench in the courtyard that I had just nights earlier. It really was a breathtaking place. The plants were so abundant and it was hard to believe you were in the middle of a busy, congested city.

“Hi.” I heard from behind me and turned around to see Sidney standing there.

“Hi yourself.”

“How was the mall?”

“Always a great time when I go with my mom and Jen.”

“That’s good,” he said as he sat down next to me.

“Thank you for the flowers. They are beautiful.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“How did you know I like Gerbers?”

“Just a lucky guess. You don’t look like a roses kind of girl.”

I just smiled. He was good if he picked that up in the short amount time we’d been around each other.

“The quote – I love it. I always have. I think it’s one of the most moving sports quotes.”

“So, you knew it already?”

“Yeah, I’ve been to Lincoln to Nebraska’s campus before. It’s on the front of the football stadium.”

“Yeah, I knew that. I’ve never been there but a friend of mine shared it with me once.” He paused, then said, “Katie, look. I had to see you. It’s driving me crazy. You’re driving me crazy. I find myself wanting to be around you all the time, thinking about you and it’s so hard to stay away, but I know I need to because you’re here trying to win a national title.”

“Sidney,” I said in a hushed tone. I felt vulnerable all over again. I felt completely melted right there on the bench.

His name was as far as I got. His mouth came down and he crushed his lips to mine. I took him in and responded back with a kiss of my own. One that was strong, passionate and soft. He deepened my response with one of his own, and I was overboard. I had completely lost it and it was obvious as I let out a soft moan. If he wanted me, he could have me. I would have gladly given him my virginity right then and there. No questions asked, just show me the way.

We broke away, and he looked me in the eyes with his own. They were deep, dark and showed the emotion running through him at the moment. I just sat there looking at him, knowing fully he could see the emotion in my eyes. I wondered if they showed exactly how overboard I had gone.

He pulled me to him; my head nestled on his shoulder and his arms around me. We sat there for a few minutes. I took him in, enjoying his scent and touch.

“Katie, I want to get to know you. I want to see if there is something more there. If you felt what I just did with that kiss, then there is, and I want to explore it. I’m not trying to give you something else to occupy your time, but when this is over with, I want us to give it a try. I’m sorry if kissing you is going to keep you from being focused. If you lose tomorrow, I’ll take the blame.”

“Don’t be sorry at all. I want to explore this, too, but I just met you! But, I’ll make a promise to you now. Depending on how we do, I’ll find some time before I leave here to devote to you. We can do whatever you like, talk about whatever you want. I have some concerns that I want to address, but now is not the time. I think we’re both mature enough we can talk this over.”

“I can handle that. I just hope I can hang on to not being around you so much for the next few days.”

“I think you’ll be just fine if you look to the future. I need you to be here for me right now. My team needs your support, and I need to be there for my team,” I said as we stood up.

“I’ll be there for you and them. Now, what’s going on in my head will be another story, but I’ll keep that to myself,” he said grinning.

“Don’t get yourself into any kind of trouble you can’t get yourself out of,” I said, giving him a wink.

“Don’t tempt me, Katie. God, don’t tempt me. I’ll make you pay for it.”

“Oh, will you now? How are you going to do that?” I asked. I was pushing his buttons now, and I knew I was. Just the thought of what he might do got me riled up. I wanted to send him to the ledge, but not over.

He took me in his arms again, just like he did the other night when we danced and whispered in my ear.

“I’m not the good boy everyone in Pittsburgh thinks I am, and you, you are the good girl everyone thinks you are, but you don’t want to be when you’re with me. You have a wild side Katie, and I want to find it. I want to push you to your limit and show you how good of a time we could have.”

There was no response for that because he was right. What he did to me made me think of things I never thought I’d catch myself thinking about. He made me want to truly let go of myself and just be free. And, if there was anyone who could do that to me – it was him. I knew about his wild streak, just from stories Jen would tell. He had been around, and probably not just in Pittsburgh, I’m sure there were others from his days in Rimouski and Minnesota. I could have cared less because all I knew was how I felt about him right now.

I put my hands around his neck and let my eyes talk to him. I still couldn’t think of a response, but I knew how I was feeling, and I wanted him to see that. I was taking a risk with him – a risk I wouldn’t normally take – but at some point, I had to grow up.

He leaned down and kissed me again. He pulled away saying “I better stop before I lose my ability to think and do something really stupid.”

“That’s probably a good thing,” I said.

“Let’s get you upstairs so you can get back on track with your game.”

We took the back stairs to my room, holding hands all the way. Standing just outside the door with him, I so badly wanted to tell him what I wanted him to do to me, but I couldn’t. I had to be strong and self-controlled. He leaned down and kissed me briefly.

“I’ll call you before I go to bed,” he said pulling away.

“Ok,” was the only response I could manage.

“Bye, sunshine.”

“Bye, Sidney.”

I went in my room, closed the door and let out a sigh. Had that really just happened? Had I really just kissed Sidney Crosby? Had I really just lost some of the independence I pride myself on? The answer was yes and instead of regretting it, I felt liberated. I felt as if I could conquer anything I wanted to at the moment.
I changed into my pajamas and grabbed my notebook. I went ahead and washed my face, took my contacts out and brushed my teeth so when I finished, I could sleep. Just as I sat down on the bed, my cell rang. It was Jen.

“You want to tell me why Sidney just came and grabbed Colby and said ‘I need to talk to you?’ because if I was a betting woman I would guess it has something to do with you.”

“Thanks for saying hello. We kissed, Jen, and it was amazing.”

“You kissed him?” she squealed. “Miss Independent letting her guard down for the superstar, I see.”

“No, Jen. You know good and well since that night at dinner, there’s been some tension there. It just happened, and it felt good.”

“What did you two decide?”

“We’re going to talk before I leave here. I told him I really needed his support to focus on the tournament right now, and he agreed.”

“You know he’s not exactly a choir boy, Kate.”

“I’ve heard you say things, and honestly, it’s of no concern to me because what he’s done before me is in the past. Besides, we’re not even an item.”

“Well, just be careful. I know he likes you – a lot, but he is a bit wild. I know how much your virginity means to you, so don’t jump in bed with him just because he’s Sidney Crosby. He has a lot of charm, and trust me I’ve seen him use it to get laid on more than one occasion.”

“I will, Jen. I promise. I’m not going to do anything stupid.”

“Good. I’m sure Colby will spill the beans when he gets back so I’ll let you know what he says.”

“That’s ok. Please don’t. Whatever Sidney said to Colby can stay there.”

“You are such a goody-two-shoes,” she said laughing. “I’ll let you go because I know you’ve got to look over some stuff for your game.”

“Yeah, I do. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Night, Kate.”

“Goodnight, Jen.”

I spent the next hour and a half reviewing batter’s breakdowns. I concentrated very hard and felt like I had studied the UMass hitters enough to know what Arie and I would be calling. I put my notebook on the desk and crawled into bed.

I wasn’t going to wait on Sidney to call. I needed to sleep. If he called before I dozed off, I’d take it. Otherwise, we’d talk later. Needless to say, 10 minutes later, my room phone rang.

“Hello,” I said.

“Hey,” I heard him say through the other end. “Did I wake you?”

“Oh no, I’ve only been laying down for 10 minutes or so.”

“Ok, well I won’t keep you long. I just wanted to tell you goodnight and sweet dreams.”

“Well, I hope you have sweet dreams and a goodnight as well.”

“With you on my mind, I’m sure I will. Good luck tomorrow, Kate.”

“Thank you. Goodnight Sidney.”

“Goodnight Kate.”

I hung up the phone and fell fast asleep.

Sidney Crosby had gotten to Miss Independent.