Sunday, May 4, 2008

From the brink of Disaster to Paradise - Day One - Disaster Strikes

“He’s gone,” the nurse told me. I collapsed into the chair just sobbing.

To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling. (Held-Natalie Grant)

“He can’t be gone, he was never really here.” “I just don’t believe it.” “Why, why did God take the only thing I had going for me.” My words became incomprehensible at this point. I was an absolute wreck. My baby boy was gone, and he was only 2 weeks old. I know I need to be strong but I just can’t. I’ve lost everything. The only hope I had left was in him and now that’s gone too. Feeling totally overwhelmed I grabbed my coat and rushed out the door.

The hospital garden. My home for the past 3 hours. I couldn’t stand it anymore. The sanitized smell, white bare walls, and the hustle and bustle of the hospital irked me to no end. No one should have to bury their child. And yet, that’s exactly what I would have to do.

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